When Newsweek shared one mom’s brave confession about the terrifying postpartum depression she faced after giving birth to twins, her honesty touched hearts worldwide. Read the full story here
She wasn’t a bad mom. She was a mom in crisis trying to love her babies through a fog of fear, exhaustion, and intrusive thoughts. Her courage to speak about it matters because so many mothers silently fight the same invisible battle.
The Reality Behind the Smile
After birth, everyone checks the baby’s weight, the feeding schedule, the diapers but rarely, someone check on the mother’s heart. We assume new motherhood should be overflowing with joy, but for many, it’s a swirl of tears, panic, guilt, and numbness. The truth is, postpartum emotions aren’t always simple.
One in seven moms experiences postpartum depression or anxiety in the U.S. For mothers of twins or multiples, that number climbs even higher. If you’ve ever looked at your baby and thought, “Why don’t I feel happy?” please know, nothing is wrong with you. Your brain and body are healing from one of the most powerful transformations in life.
When Love and Fear Collide
This mom’s story reminded us that love and pain can coexist. You can adore your children and still feel scared of your own thoughts. You can want to be near them and still need space to breathe. These moments don’t define your worth as a mother. They simply show you’re human, navigating emotions that need care, not shame.
Understanding What’s Happening Inside
After birth, your hormones shift dramatically faster and deeper than at any other time in life. Add sleepless nights, physical recovery, and the pressure to “do it all,” and even small triggers can spiral into overwhelm.
The “baby blues” usually fade after a couple of weeks. But when sadness, guilt, or anxiety linger or you start having frightening thoughts, that’s not just exhaustion. That’s postpartum depression, and it’s treatable. Getting help isn’t a weakness; it’s wisdom.
Intrusive Thoughts: The Fear No One Talks About
The mother in the Newsweek story described having unwanted, distressing thoughts about her babies. Those are called intrusive thoughts, and they can happen to loving, devoted moms.
They don’t mean you’ll act on them. They mean your brain is overloaded and frightened. If those thoughts ever appear, know this: you can tell someone. A postpartum therapist or doctor will never judge you; they’ll help you heal.
What Are Intrusive Thoughts in Postpartum?
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, distressing, and often frightening mental images or ideas that suddenly pop into a mother’s mind after childbirth.
They might involve thoughts like:
- “What if I drop the baby?”
- “What if the baby stops breathing?”
- “What if I accidentally hurt my baby?”
These thoughts can feel vivid and horrifying, but they are not a reflection of your true feelings or intentions. They’re symptoms of anxiety, obsessive-compulsive thinking (often called postpartum OCD), or postpartum depression, triggered by the intense hormonal, emotional, and physical changes that follow birth.
Why They Happen
After childbirth, your brain and body experience major shifts:
- Hormone levels (especially estrogen and progesterone) plummet rapidly.
- Sleep deprivation and stress overload your nervous system.
- The responsibility of protecting a newborn activates a natural “threat response” in your brain scans for danger, even when none is present.
Studies suggest that up to 90% of new mothers experience at least occasional intrusive thoughts after birth, but few talk about them because of shame or fear of judgment. So instead of calm thoughts, your brain floods you with “what if” scenarios, trying to protect your baby. Unfortunately, that protective instinct can spiral into fear and guilt.
What They Don’t Mean
Having intrusive thoughts does not mean you want to harm your baby, or that you’re dangerous or unfit. They mean you’re a mom with an anxious mind trying to stay safe in a time of massive change.
Most moms who experience intrusive thoughts:
- Feel terrified by them
- Try to push them away (which can make them stronger)
- Never act on them
The key sign it’s intrusive, not dangerous, is that it upsets you. The thoughts feel foreign, not desired.
What Healing Looks Like
Healing doesn’t mean pretending the storm never happened. It means learning to stand again, one calm breath at a time.
It might start with a single conversation.
It might mean therapy, medication, rest, or rediscovering what peace feels like.
It might mean connecting with other moms who nod and say, “Me too.”
Recovery is not about being “strong.” It’s about being supported.
How Momkinz Helps You Find That Support
At Momkinz, we’re building a community where no mom has to hide her pain or pretend to be okay. You can find trusted postpartum therapists, mental health providers, doulas, and support circles in person or virtually all in one place. Whether you’re in Raleigh, Durham, Charlotte, or beyond, help is closer than you think. Because when one mom heals, it helps every mom heal.
👉 Find postpartum support today at Momkinz!
10 FAQs About Postpartum Emotions and Recovery
1. What is postpartum depression?
It’s a medical condition that causes persistent sadness, guilt, or detachment after childbirth, and it can affect anyone.
2. How is it different from baby blues?
Baby blues last a couple of weeks; postpartum depression lasts longer and often requires professional help.
3. What are the warning signs?
Crying often, feeling numb, losing interest in things you love, feeling hopeless, or having scary thoughts about harm.
4. When does postpartum depression start?
It can appear anytime in the first year after birth — not just right away.
5. Why do intrusive thoughts happen?
They’re anxiety symptoms are caused by hormonal shifts and stress, not intent. They mean your mind is under strain.
6. Can postpartum depression be treated?
Yes — therapy, medication, and support groups are very effective and safe for new moms.
7. Is it safe to take medication while breastfeeding?
Many antidepressants are safe. Talk with a perinatal psychiatrist or your doctor to find the best option.
8. How can partners or family help?
By listening without judgment, offering rest breaks, and encouraging professional support, not dismissal.
9. Does getting help mean I’m a bad mom?
Absolutely not. Getting help means you care enough to heal for yourself and your baby.
10. Where can I find postpartum help near me?
You can search for postpartum therapists, doulas, and support groups on Momkinz.com or ask your OB-GYN for a referral.
My Thoughts?
Motherhood changes us. Sometimes beautifully, sometimes painfully, often both at once. If you’ve felt lost in the fog of postpartum emotions, please know: you’re not broken, and you’re not alone.
There is help. There is hope. And there are moms just like you ready to listen and lift you up.
💬 Have you ever experienced unexpected emotions after giving birth?
How did you find your way back to peace and connection?
Let’s keep this conversation open. Healing begins when we share.
