You glance at the mirror and barely recognise the woman staring back at you. You now call yourself “Mom.” And yet, in the quiet moments when your baby finally sleeps or when you lie awake feeding the guilt, you can feel a tug: this isn’t all you. In her video, Dr Manisha Ghimire shares what so many of us sense but rarely say out loud: that motherhood is shimmering and sacred and also raw and exhausting. Because yes, you can love your children fiercely and mourn the version of yourself you used to know.
Let’s dive into her message, honour what you’re really feeling, and explore how to care for yourself in the beautiful chaos of postpartum life.
The Beautiful & Brutal Truth of Pregnancy, Birth & Postpartum
From the moment you discovered you were pregnant, you likely dreamed of that first breath, first smile, first moment when you’d feel your world shift. But every birth story (every pregnancy, every labour, every postpartum hour) carries a duality: the miracle of bringing life and the heavy tides of change. Dr Ghimire begins her talk emphasising this dual truth: motherhood is privilege and battle.
Pregnancy and birth transform you physically, your body expands, your hormones dance, and your identity shifts. Then postpartum recovery pushes you into a new terrain. There’s awe in holding your baby, there’s gratitude for survival, there’s pride in your body’s work. Yet alongside that, there’s grief for what you were, exhaustion from what you’ve become, and sometimes confusion: when did YOU get lost in this story?
The Beauty: How Motherhood Reshapes Our Hearts
In her video at around the 1:20 mark, Dr Ghimire talks about the beauty of how motherhood remakes you from the inside. You’ve grown in ways you didn’t expect. You laugh at things you’d never pictured. You see the world anew through your child’s eyes. You carry fierce love. And yes, the reshape feels like magic.
But here’s the thing: as breathtaking as the “new you” can feel, the loss of the “old you” still matters. Maybe you used to go for long runs at sunrise, or you had spontaneous coffee dates with friends, or you built business dreams without pajamas or spit‐up. That version counts. It’s not wrong to grieve it while you hold your baby. You are expanded, not empty.
Mom Tips:
- Take 10 minutes each day (even while your baby naps) to touch the version of you that still lives there. Journal one thing you miss, and then one thing you love about the “new you.”
- Build a small ritual that connects to your pre‐motherhood self, maybe it’s a cup of something you used to love, a song you used to play, or a notebook you used to write in. This isn’t indulgence, it’s remembrance.
The Price: Exhaustion, Guilt, and the Myth of “Doing It All”
At 3:05 in the video, Dr Ghimire opens the door to the unspoken price of motherhood. There’s so much expectation: to bounce back, to “be” everything (mom, partner, professional, friend), to somehow do it all. And when we don’t? Guilt sneaks in. Sleep deprivation becomes a constant state. Your body still bears the mark of pregnancy and birth; your mind still reels with what’s changed.
Here are some truths:
- Yes, your body needs postpartum care / postpartum recovery, and many new moms aren’t given the time or support for it.
- Symptoms of postpartum depression / postpartum anxiety don’t always look like you’d expect: tearfulness, anger, numbness, distance from baby, or just overwhelming fatigue.
- The pressure to “love every moment” can be toxic because loving motherhood doesn’t mean never feeling tired, resentful, or missing your old self. You’re allowed to feel both simultaneously.
Mom Tips:
- Screen yourself. Ask: “In the last two weeks, have I felt little interest or pleasure in doing things? Have I been feeling down, depressed, or hopeless?” (Questions similar to screening tools like the EPDS exist)
- If you answer “yes” to several questions, that’s a sign to yourself. You don’t have to wait for someone to diagnose you to seek support.
- Reach out for postpartum support groups (look for terms like “postpartum support groups near me”) or find a postpartum support professional. You aren’t doing this solo.
Why It’s Okay to Admit Motherhood Is Hard & What If We Stopped Glorifying Sacrifice?
At around 5:15, Dr Ghimire gives a crucial message: It’s okay to admit motherhood is hard. Not only that, but motherhood doesn’t require you to sacrifice yourself entirely in order to prove your love. Imagine a culture where we didn’t glorify “sleeping less to show love,” where we didn’t measure a mother’s worth by how invisible her self-care becomes.
Imagine instead a culture where we champion postpartum care, postpartum recovery, and the idea that a supported mom = a thriving mom and baby. Because the data backs this up: untreated maternal mental health issues are the leading cause of pregnancy-related death.
Mom Tips:
- Choose one role you will not do today, just one, and delegate or let it wait. It might be cooking dinner, folding laundry, or returning texts. This is not failure, it is survival.
- Write down your “support circle.” Who can you call for 15 minutes of peace? A partner, friend, neighbour, fellow mom from a Momkinz postpartum support group? Keep that contact handy.
- Schedule yourself a 30-minute postpartum care slot this week. It might mean a nap, a warm bath, a walk outside, or even 10 minutes of deep breathing. Block the time; it’s non-negotiable.
A Message to Every Mom Who’s Wondering If She’s Doing Enough
At the 9:00 mark in the video, Dr Ghimire speaks to the whisper inside you: “Am I doing enough?” The answer is tender and firm: you are. You are doing more than you think. And if you’re wondering, it’s because you care deeply. That’s your heart showing up. Your exhaustion, your second thoughts, your late-night fears, they’re part of the motherhood journey.
Here’s something to remember:
- Pregnancy altered your body and your brain; your hormones shifted; your entire being prepared for life.
- Birth brought change, risk, vulnerability, and sometimes trauma.
- Postpartum is not just “getting back,” it’s building forward. A woman with a baby is not “back” or “broken,” she is evolving.
According to U.S. figures, more than 460,000 mothers each year (based on 1 in 8 of 3.7 million live births) may face symptoms of PPD. And worryingly, nearly 50 % may go undiagnosed. You are not alone in feeling this weight. But you can be supported. You should be supported.
Mom Tips:
- If you’ve gone more than 2 weeks feeling “not like yourself,” contact a postpartum care provider. Don’t wait for perfection.
- Look up a postpartum support group near me, join a community of mothers who speak your language.
- Use platforms like Momkinz postpartum support, where you can connect with professionals and other new moms who understand that the duality you feel is valid.
The Beauty of Your Journey
Dear Mom, the beauty of your journey is matched only by its challenges. The quiet tears beside the roar of your love, the longing for your old self beside the sheltering of a new life, they’re all part of your story. The video from Dr Ghimire is a reminder: you don’t have to be all things, all the time. You don’t have to hide your exhaustion to prove your love. You just have to keep showing up for yourself and your baby with compassion.
If you’re seeking a space where your postpartum reality is honoured, where your weariness meets understanding, and where you can build forward rather than simply bounce back, then I invite you to explore Momkinz. Connect with postpartum care providers, find a support group that gets the duality of motherhood, and begin writing a chapter where both your strength and your vulnerability matter.
You are not alone. You are seen. And you are doing more than enough. Let’s walk this path together.
